This summer I am reading (and re-reading) everything I can get my hands on related to parenting, family ministry, biblical manhood/womanhood, child-rearing, etc. A few books that I plan to tackle are:
- Raising Dad by Thom & Art Rainer
- Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson
- Shepherding a Child’s Heart & Instructing a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp
- Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis
- Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel
- Age of Opportunity by Ted Tripp
- What He Must Be…If He Wants to Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham
A few minutes ago, I finished up a book my good friend and fellow youth pastor Steve Wright called Apparent Privilege. The book is a short but impactful read challenging parents to take up their God-given responsibility to disciple their children instead of simply “dropping them off” at church for the spiritual stuff. What I love about the book is its practicality – it is filled with helpful suggestions and tips from not only a youth pastor but a father of three teenage children. Some habits of effective parents that Wright highlights:
- Family worship
- Praying as a family
- Serving as a family
- Passage trips (mini-trips designed to mark the passage from childhood to adulthood)
- Journaling
- Journey days (events intended to affirm and initiate children into biblical manhood/womanhood)
- Family dinnertime
I would highly recommend this book for parents with children of any age still at home. While this is certainly not the only method for discipling your children, it stands as one effective strategy for getting the ball rolling. What’s your strategy? How are you being intentional about teaching your children to become the godly men & women God has created them to be in Christ? Remember, no strategy IS a losing strategy.
As of 8:50 AM yesterday, I am officially the proud dad of a beautiful, precious little baby girl named Lilly Claire Shields. At 9 lbs, 11 oz and 21.5 in. long, suffice it to say that she was ready to roll outta that cozy womb. I still am not sure how my wife was able to pull that off the last few weeks.
After being a dad of boys for the last couple of years, I wasn’t too sure about this whole girl thing. And to boot, the innumerable accessories, murderous thoughts about future boyfriends, and comments from other dads about “being wrapped around her finger” didn’t really help at all.
However, with an amazing 26 hours under my belt, I have to say that I couldn’t imagine how incredible it is to have a baby girl. As we sat in recovery, I stared at her, talked to her, and prayed over her in a protective way that was different than with the boys. As I look to the future, I am absolutely stoked about dressing her up, daddy-daughter dates, ponytails, biblical womanhood, and one day walking her down the aisle and giving her away to a trustworthy man of God. Not to mention I’ll have at least one child that will take care of me – altogether it’s a pretty good deal! Jesus, thanks for enlarging the Shields’ tent with this precious gift of grace.
I have no idea what I am in for tomorrow. Surprise. Joy. Pink. Crying (her and me). Doctors. More pink. Celebration. And, most of all, a brand new love. We can’t wait to meet you Lilly Claire – and I hope you look like your mother.
In honor of this unfathomable shuffle in the gender composition of the Shields’ clan, I wanted to link to a moving article entitled “What I’ve Learned From Raising a Daughter.” The original article appeared at Art of Manliness, a GREAT website for men and manhood (I don’t think it’s Christian). It was written by a first-time dad of a girl who was surprised by how much his little girl changed the way he viewed life. Here were his some of his main points:
- Men are born to protect – “Though I’m sure that this instinct is there with boys as well, the strong conviction I have to protect my daughter is greater than nearly anything I’ve felt in my life. It isn’t a feeling that has to be worked up, it’s just there, like cement, daring someone to move it.”
- Girls keep a man’s heart from growing too cold – “ Perhaps it’s because I went to a military academy, or spent too much time watching ‘Gladiator,’ but I realized after the birth of my daughter that my heart had grown a bit hard. My compassion, patience and grace were all lacking…It’s not that I have now become a bumbling mess of emotion and softness since the birth of my daughter, but I have allowed myself to accept that not everything in life is simply a resource that must be dedicated to some ultimate victory.”
- Every girl is some man’s daughter
- Living for someone else – “One of the greatest tests of manhood is whether or not one has learned to abandon their life in the service of another…It doesn’t take much effort to be selfish. In fact, it’s one of the most natural ways for us to live. Children plop into our lives as miniature insurgents, waging war with our lifestyle of ‘me first.’ My daughter has opened my eyes to the beautiful struggle parents face in giving their lives to their children.”
Great thoughts from Kevin DeYoung on why memorial day is still worth remembering for the church. Here is a summary of his main points:
- Being a soldier is not a sub-Christian activity
- The life of a soldier can demonstrate the highest Christian virtues
- Military service is one of the most common metaphors in the New Testament to describe the Christian life
- Love of country can be a good thing
- This may be controversial to some, but I believe the facts of history will demonstrate that on the whole, the United States military has been a force for good in the world.
Pastor James McDonald of Harvest Bible explains the benefits of a high deposit, high withdrawal culture of leadership in the local church. “High deposit” refers to a generous level of support, affirmation, encouragement, and investment in one’s church leadership team. “High withdrawal” means that everyone is “expected to show up at work swinging for the fences everyday…because people’s eternities hang in the balance.”
Mark Driscoll responds to the Newsweek article that has made so many headlines with its discussion of “The End of Christian America.” Driscoll argues that the report, rather than signaling the looming death of Christianity, could actually be encouraging and clarifying for evangelical churches and pastors:
Subsequently, the Newsweek report simply confirms the fact that, just as Christendom has died in Europe and the major American cities, it is now dying in the suburban and rural areas of America as well. With the social benefits of professing to be a Christian no longer in place and the social stigma of not professing to be a Christian now lifted, those who were part of Christendom America are simply no longer pretending to be part of Christian America.
Since those who professed faith but did not practice faith were confusing to account for, this is actually a good thing. Now, it is more likely that if someone is a Christian or non-Christian, he or she will state so plainly.
Ed Young Jr, pastor of Fellowship Church in Texas, is one of the most creative communicators/preachers on the planet. In this video he shares how he prepares his messages and what tools he uses for study. Interesting.
HT: 210 Leadership Blog
Virgin Lips Movement – ever heard of it? While it has gained worldwide media attention and scorn, I recently heard the actual phraseology for the first time in an article by Dr. Albert Mohler. The movement, which seems to be a more hard-core version of the Abstinence Pledges of the 1980s and 1990s, seeks to encourage young people to save their first kiss (and any physical involvement) for their future husband or wife. I think, if correctly applied, this is a better goal than technical virginity, which seemed to argue that you’re good as long as you haven’t “gone all the way.” After all, there is no category for technical virginity in the Bible – it’s just sexual immorality or holiness (1 Thess 4).
Having watched a good friend of mine put this into practice with his wife, I admired his restraint and passion for purity in this area. Why could this strategy potentially work better than what’s been put forward in the past? Because, as we always teach our teenagers, “where your draw your boundaries defines your arena of temptation.” Like anything else, however, it should be acknowledged that we are sinners and no strategy is strong enough to deter that impulse. On the other hand, we do need to think and pray hard about how to develop a winning strategy for putting our kids in a position to succeed (i.e. making it to marriage with purity). As they say, no strategy is a losing strategy. What do you think? How can parents and those working with young people in the church help provide an ideal context for success in the area of sexuality and relationships?
For more resources, see Highview’s Dating Booklet in my “Ministry Resources” section.
I think everyone, especially those in ministry, struggle to consistently engage non-Christians outside of church activities and programs. Relationship-building, as it were, can became very difficult when you are swamped with “internal issues” – meetings, committees, supervising staff, etc (all with Christians!). I saw these suggestions at theresurgence.com for living like a missionary in your community and thought I would pass them on. In fact, I followed some of them last night and had the most fun night in my neighborhood to date!
1. Eat with Non-Christians :: We all eat three meals a day. Why not make a habit of sharing one of those meals with a non-Christian or with a family of non-Christians? Go to lunch with a co-worker, not by yourself. Invite the neighbors over for family dinner. Have cookouts and invite Christians and non-Christians. Flee the Christian subculture.
2. Walk, Don’t Drive :: If you live in a walkable area, make a practice of getting out and walking around your neighborhood, apartment complex, or campus. Instead of driving to the mailbox or convenience store, walk to get mail or groceries. Be deliberate in your walk. Say hello to people you don’t know. Strike up conversations.
3. Be a Regular :: Instead of hopping all over the city for gas, groceries, haircuts, eating out, and coffee, go to the same places at the same times. Get to know the staff. Smile. Ask questions. Be a regular.
4. Hobby with Non-Christian :: Pick a hobby that you can share. Get out and do something you enjoy with others. Try city league sports or local rowing and cycling teams. Share your hobby by teaching lessons, such as sewing, piano, knitting, or tennis lessons. Be prayerful. Be intentional. Be winsome. Have fun. Be yourself.
5. Talk to Your Co-workers :: How hard is that? Take your breaks with intentionality. Go out with your team or task force after work. Show interest in your co-workers. Pick four and pray for them. Form moms’ groups in your neighborhood and don’t make them exclusively non-Christian. Schedule play dates with the neighbors’ kids.
6. Volunteer with Non-Profits :: Find a non-profit in your part of the city and take a Saturday a month to serve your city. Bring your neighbors, your friends, or your small group. Spend time with your church serving your city. Once a month. You can do it!
7. Participate in City Events :: Instead of playing XBox, watching TV, or surfing the net, participate in city events. Go to fundraisers, festivals, cleanups, summer shows, and concerts. Pray for the city. Love the city. Participate with the city.
8. Serve Your Neighbors :: Help a neighbor by weeding, mowing, building a cabinet, or fixing a car. Stop by the neighborhood association or apartment office and ask if there is anything you can do to help improve things. Ask your local Police and Fire Stations if there is anything you can do to help them. Get creative. Just serve!
The latest issue of the 9marks journal has just been released, and as one who is not a normal reader the subject matter caught my attention – multi-site churches. As a long-time member and current staff member at a multi-site megachurch, I have had the privilege of possessing a front row seat as our church “went multi-site” before it became trendy (in the late 1990s). In my opinion, the multi-campus model is a biblically viable and practically effective method for reaching large numbers of lost people in local communities in the U.S. Although we are certainly not without our own issues & problems, I have witnessed firsthand how this model revitalized our church, ignited a passion for cross-cultural missions, ramped up intentional leadership development, and forced our people into a more robust ecclesiology that is more than simply caring about “our stuff/style/people/etc.”
Here is a list of the articles presented in the 9marks ejournal. I would especially recommend J.D. Greear’s article. Enjoy!
PRESENTING AND ARGUING FOR THE MULTI-SITE CHURCH
Theological Defense of Multi-Site
A seminary professor examines the multi-site phenomenon and offers a biblical, theological, historical, and missional argument for the multi-site church.
By Gregg R. Allison
A Pastor Defends His Multi-Site Church
A multi-site pastor provides a biblical, practical, and pastoral defense of his multi-site church.
By J.D. Greear
IDENTIFYING AND LOCATING THE MULTI-SITE CHURCH
What Is this Thing, Anyway? A Multi-Site Taxonomy
Can multi-site churches be congregational? What kind of polity does a multi-site church have?
By Greg Gilbert
Have We Ever Seen This Before? Multi-Site Precedents
Another seminary professor looks for multi-site churches before 1980. Here’s what he finds.
By John S. Hammett
Richard Baxter and the Multi-Site Movement
What’s Richard Baxter’s problem with the multi-site church? One word: shepherding.
By Jeffery Riddle
Clouds on the Horizon
A multi-site pastor weighs in on the current state of the multi-site conversation and raises concerns about the future of multi-site churches.
By Matt Chandler
ARGUING AGAINST THE MULTI-SITE CHURCH
Nine Reasons I Don’t Like Multi-site Churches, from a Guy Who Should
A young, tech-savvy seminary professor explains why he’s not getting on board the multi-site revolution.
By Thomas White
Exegetical Critique of Multi-Site: Disassembling the Church?
A pastor-scholar weighs the exegetical arguments in favor of the multi-site church and finds them wanting.
By Grant Gaines
Theological Critique of Multi-Site: Leadership Is the Church
The local church on earth is constituted by a gathering of Christians, which means the multi-site and multi-service “church” is not a church, but an association of churches.
By Jonathan Leeman
Historical Critique of Multi-Site: Not Over My Dead Body
Regardless of the fact that multi-site churches haven’t existed for most of the past four hundred years, historic Congregationalists and Baptists have a lot to say against them.
By Bobby Jamieson
The Alternative to Multi-Site: Why Don’t We Plant?
The multi-site church phenomenon looks like a capitulation to consumeristic culture. We should plant instead.
By Jonathan Leeman
