Have a teenager with an iPhone or iPod touch? Independent software developer Mobicip.com has released a very helpful app that helps parents restrict access to things like explicit iTunes songs, YouTube videos, Safari web browsing, and more (all password protected). Follow this link for step-by-step instructions. (Hint: might not be a bad idea for your marriage either!)
HT: Troy Temple
I just finished reading Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp. Tripp’s analysis of the teenage years is both theologically precise and practically helpful. One of my favorite chapters, “Three Strategies for Parenting Teens,” has some great advice for helping cultivate a heart of repentance in our children. Tripp notes,
“Rather than seeking to get our teenagers under our control, we want to be used of God so that they would joyfully submit to his (God). Rather than seeing ourselves as agents of control, we need to see ourselves as ambassadors of reconciliation…It is as though God makes his personal appeal to our teenagers through us…We will not lead them to the Lord just once, but again and again and again, to receive his forgiveness and his help.”
Trip suggest four steps to the process of repentance (this is true for both adults & children!):
- Consideration – “What does God want my teenager to see about himself that he is not seeing? How can I help him to see these things?” This step is really about helping teens with self-introspection. Tripp offers five questions we can ask our children to help facilitate consideration :: A) What was going on? B) What were you thinking and feeling? C) What did you do? D) Why did you do it? E) What was the result?
- Confession – “I am convinced that one of the great mistakes we make when we confront our teenagers is that we tend to make their confessions for them . . . Our goal must be to lead our teenagers to make statements of confession.”
- Commitment – this involves the “teenager’s promise to live, act, and respond in a new way. This commitment must be to God and to the appropriate people.”
- Change – “We need to help our teenagers think about particular situations and relationships, and how thye will do old things in a new, God-glorifying way” (be specific).
As parents, we have to be intentional and strategic about the ultimate goals we have for our children. For Christian parents, that includes not just control or behavior modification, but true repentance of sin and faith in Jesus Christ. We must, from an early age, build this into the DNA of our instructing and disciplining if we hope to put our kids in a position to succeed as authentic, mature Christian adults.
I know it has been awhile since I have posted, so I wanted to give a quick family update…
As of last week, I have officially accepted the position as Teaching Pastor at First Baptist Church West Palm Beach, FL. After weeks of seeking God’s heart for our family, we have decided that the opportunity to engage in pioneer mission-type gospel ministry in South Florida is exactly where God would have us for the next season of our ministry. We are absolutely fired up about serving the people of FBCWPB and burdened for the 1.4 million people that comprise Palm Beach County. We are confident Jesus is going to do (and has already been doing) a great work in SoFlo, where there are very few evangelical churches or ministry training centers.
Leaving Highview, however, is a bittersweet moment. My life has been shaped in so many ways by this tremendous church body: I was saved here, met my wife here, called to ministry here, married here, took my first ministry position here, and had all of my children here. We are humbled and grateful for the myriad of ways in which God’s mercy and grace were shown to us through our time at Highview. We look forward to returning in the future to our “family” and are confident that God will continue to bless the ministry efforts of Highview in the city of Louisville and around the world.
As I write this we are preparing to land in Dallas to catch our connecting flight to Louisville. I think I speak for our team when I say that I am thoroughly gassed but joyful over the work that was accomplished for Jesus this week. I couldn’t be more proud of a team than I have been of our highview students – they served, loved, worked, encouraged, overcame, and shared Jesus with an intensity that could only come by the Spirit. In all of this God was gracious to draw new believers to Himself, encourage the pastors & leaders at FBC Arecibo, and absolutely expand the level of compassion our students have for lost people around te world.
Thanks for your prayers, support, and sacrifices as we completed the task God gave us. I am hopeful that this trip will result in our students being More faithful missionaries in our city, loving Jesus more, and refocusing our youth ministry on the mission God has for us in Christ.
We have had an inspiring and incredible trip so far – and it’s only Wednesday. Yesterday’s highlights include the beach, Cameron & fire ants, and some amazing cake batter & oreo ice cream at Rex’s. Teams have worked extremely hard in some rather steamy conditions to put on VBS, plaster walls and lay tile, and share the gospel in FBC’s target community (Hatillo). The students are becoming more bold each day we are here and I am noticing their compassion for people expand as they pray for, encourage, witness to, and serve this community.
Please continue to pray for God to make Jesus known here in Arecibo – He is desperately needed. The next two days will be the most critical of the trip as the emotional and spiritual intensity ramps up. We plan to engage in a homeless outreach as well as some drug addicts. We need the Lord’s power and strength.
First off, let me apologize for not updating the blog. I initially thought we would have Internet access, but that has not been the case. So, I will be updating our team’s progress from my iPhone.
We have had a fantastic start to our trip. The last two days were spent in preparation for today’s work. We split into 3 teams – construction, VBS, and evangelism – in order to best serve FBC Arecibo. Yesterday, we had the privilege of attending 2 services at the church and hear Pastor Jorge preach the word. After hearing 2 messages at about 1.5 hours apiece, I don’t think any of our students will complain about mine anymore 
FBC is a fantastic church that loves the gospel and their community like Jesus did.
The team had been excellent up to this point – all are healthy with good attitudes and full bellies. Please pray for our first day of Kingdom work 2day. We will try to call home 2nite.
The 4th of July is one of my favorite days of the year. It is a time for everyone who holds American birthrights to contemplate the tremendous freedoms, sacrifices, and privileges we have as a nation that are enjoyed in a minority of other countries around the world (see twitter updates on Iran today if you need an illustration). I am personally thankful for my father, grandfathers, and great-grandfathers who served in various wars over the last century to ensure my freedom to have a wife, raise children, to worship, to vote, etc.
On the 4th of July, I am even more grateful for the sacrifice of Christ on my behalf which brought me freedom from the tyranny of sin, Satan, hell, death, guilt, shame, and idolatry. These benefits are priceless, but it is King Jesus to whom I owe my ultimate allegiance, devotion, and worship.
Below I have reposted the Declaration of Independence. On this great day, read it to your kids, reflect on its implications, be grateful for the liberties that flow from the pens of our forefathers. But, as a Christian, don’t forget that we are free each day from the slavery of sin to serve & share King Jesus – let’s get busy!
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
As I mentioned previously, I am working through a series of books on parenting. At the moment, I am thoroughly enjoying Tim Kimmel’s Grace-Based Parenting. Throughout the opening chapters I have been challenged to view my parenting philosophy through the eyes and heart of God – to treat my kids as He has treated me in Christ.
Kimmel suggests that it is the job of every parent to build “significant purpose” into the lives of our children – generally, specifically, relationally, and spiritually. How should we tackle such a monumental task? Kimmel makes three keen observations that I think every parent should take to heart:
- Children feel significant when they are regularly affirmed – far from mindless self-esteem building, “affirmation catches your children doing things right. It notices when they do things you know don’t come easy to them . . . legitimate praise builds a solid resistance against the insults and put-downs that often bombard them from culture.”
- Children feel significant when they know they have our attention – “We need to have a working knowledge of our children’s likes and dislikes, their friends and their detractors, and the big things and the little things that matter most in their lives.”
- Children feel significant when they are gracefully admonished – “Sin represents a clear and present danger to our children as they try to achieve a significant purpose. That’s why we need due diligence in guarding their hearts for them when they are young and teaching them how to guard their own hearts as they get older.”
One of the things I pray for as I kneel beside my kids’ beds each night is that they would accomplish something great (in God’s eyes) for the Kingdom of God. That they would have the humility & wisdom to see what is right and the courage & confidence to do it. To that end, I offer those of us who are parents the following diagnostic questions as we seek together to train our kids to have a significant purpose for their lives:
- As a parent, am I pursuing God’s plans/purposes for my life?
- Do I teach my kids that their significance is in found in themselves (self-esteem) or in Christ (humility)?
- Do I communicate regularly to my kids, both in word & action, that God has created them for a purpose?
- Am I helping my children develop the kids of assets, skills, and heart that will prepare them for a life of purpose & meaning in God’s Kingdom?
- Am I modeling purposeful living by demonstrating repentance, obedience, risk, sacrifice, humility, and wisdom?
- Am I learning the hopes, dreams, frustrations, struggles, and aptitudes of each of my children individually? Or am I inadvertently squeezing them out of God’s image and into my own mold?
- Do I consistently instruct and discipline my kids (Duet. 6, Eph. 6) so as to show them how their sin leads to death and unfulfilled purpose?
We had an incredible week at camp this year. Major props to Jon Malko, Highview’s Video Director, for giving us the best quality video production we have had for camp in like eight years. Thank you leaders & staff for all of your hard work in my absence. My wife and daughter thank you as well!
